Richard Charkin’s publishing alphabet is even more cynical than my one from last year.

  • Advance against royalty = outright payment
  • Bookseller = book borrower
  • Contract = piece of paper
  • Drivel = celebrity publishing
  • Educational publishing  = anything that’s not trade publishing
  • Finance director = landlord
  • Gross sales = 50 percent more than sales
  • Hardback = strip and rebind opportunity
  • Incremental sales = excremental profits
  • Jacket = sell-in material
  • Kiss ‘n’ tell = be sued
  • Literary = won’t sell
  • Management = something to do with football
  • Nonreturnable = a myth
  • Overhead = someone else
  • Profit = gross sales
  • Quality = won’t sell
  • Royalty = Meghan Markle now
  • Sales = loans
  • Traveler = managing director
  • Unputdownable = putdownable
  • Volume = sales without profit
  • Write-down = caused by predecessors
  • X-rated = might sell
  • Year-end = invoice early
  • Zeitgeist = learn German

It comes from Publishing Perspectives where Mr Charkin will be writing a monthly column.